This time of the year sucks for me. It used to be my favorite….getting ready for the holidays—warm sweaters—carving pumpkins—X mas shopping, et al. But after 3 years of relapsing right around this time, I just can’t wait to get through it all, and move on to spring. Hopefully it won’t always be like that, but maybe we will just adopt the whole Xmas in July thing. Why not?
It has been almost one year (Nov. 3, 2014), since I relapsed, and was basically given a death sentence. I can honestly say that this has been the most emotional, and hardest year of my entire life. Through it all, I have really tried to remain positive, focus on what’s in front of me, and pray that this donor transplant works. Luckily you all have been such a great sense of support for all of us. That being said, my scan is coming up in one week (the 27th), and I’m terrified. On my good days, it’s easy to forget that I have cancer. But then my timer goes off on my phone, and it’s time to take 15,000,000 drugs. And I remember that life is so much different for me now than it used to be. So any and all positive vibes are always welcome with open arms.
Here is what we’ve been up to these past few weeks:
Football is still in high gear in our family. Derek is gone a lot of the time coaching, but he really loves it, and Mack loves seeing him on the field. The kids he coaches are all very sweet, and have been very supportive of my illness and our family as well. They are also kicking ass. (GO WOLVERINES!) Mack and I have visited the pumpkin patch a few times now, and have spent time decorating the house for fall. He LOVESSSS being outdoors, which is often hard for me on my days where I’m really low energy, but we have been having lots of fun regardless.
This past weekend, we attended a wedding in Pittsburgh, and went to the Steelers game the next day. Now I am a Browns fan by default, since I was born and raised in Cleveland. But I will admit, it’s nice to go to a game where the team you’re rooting for actually wins! (By the by, I made the mistake of cheering for the Browns briefly when the score popped up on the jumbotron, which I have mentally noted, will never do again. If I could be killed by an evil glare, I’d be dead 100 times over right now). It was nice to get away for a weekend with just the hubby though, and I do have a funny story/YELP review to share:
Crown Plaza Pittsburgh. ZERO STARS…..We arrived at the hotel only a half hour before the wedding, so we had to get to the room, and quickly change. Of COURSE, (Luckily he stopped reading my blog because I always post about him, or he would kill me for this next part), Derek HAD to poop before we left. I mean could his timing be any better?! I swear to God it’s only when we are running late for something that he decides suddenly he HAS to either 1) go to the bathroom 2) organize something 3) fix something. *SIGH* men. Anyway, he goes to the bathroom….flushes the toilet. No sooner does the water stop running after the flush when I heard a loud gurgling noise coming from the toilet. GULP…then GULP GULP GULP! Have you ever seen Ghostbusters II, where the pink slime comes out of the bath tub faucet, and it looks like an arm trying to grab you in the air? If not, you are missing out, and if so, it looked just like that! Then all of a sudden came an ERUPTION of BUBBLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m talking bubbles fucking every.where. First, the gross toilet water shot into the air, and all over the floor, then bubbles galore, like we were throwing a God Damn foam party!!!! I mean could you imagine if Derek had stayed on the toilet like one second longer?! Talk about a clean ass! So I called down to the front desk totally freaking out. They send up a 95 year old maintenance man to fix the toilet. (We were late for the wedding, so I didn’t have time to deal with getting a new room or anything). So I let him in, and we leave. After the wedding, I came back, went to the front desk, and asked about the status of our room/toilet explosion. The Asst manager tells me the problem is resolved, and the maintenance man mopped up the floor, so our room is fine now. I asked her if it was going to happen again, to which she replied “probably not”….er….that’s totally reassuring. (Apparently, the washing machine line got backed up, and tied into the toilet lines! I don’t even want to begin to think about whether or not that meant people were sleeping on poopy sheets). I kindly explained that I witnessed poo water fly into the air, and if housekeeping didn’t bring a Goddamn UV light to sanitize the whole area, I wasn’t going to stay in that room. She again, assured me the room was fine. It wasn’t until I actually pulled the “C” card, and said “Here’s the deal. I have CANCER. I have had C diff twice in the past month, and I cannot and WILL not stay in that room”, that her eyes widened (like she was in fear of my life), and she set us up with a new room. Her closing remarks “I know for sure this room is extra clean”.
So FYI people, if you ever stay at the Crown Plaza in Pittsburgh, be sure to ask for the “extra clean” rooms with “non poopy water sheets”, because apparently it makes a difference. Anyway, that is my funny story about the weekend. Shit like that only happens to us.
Health wise I’ve been feeling ok. I can tell now when I am in need of blood, or when I’m dehydrated though, which I guess is good. On Friday, I turned on my computer to work, and was super dizzy staring at the screen. I looked in the mirror and my skin was gray. I knew for sure I needed fluids, so I called the PA, and spent the whole day in infusion. I’ve had insanely itchy skin lately—(which terrifies me, since that was the only symptom I had when I relapsed last year)—but hopefully it’s just because my skin is also very dry from the weather, and my meds—So I had some Benadryl. My mom ended up having to take me home because I was totally out of it, after all that. It was a long day to say the least. But, feeling in tip top shape now!! I will be going into the office for a few hours on Weds., and I’m looking forward to seeing my coworkers.
Mack is going to be a fisherman this year for Halloween, which is a lot more exciting than his rendition of “bow tie” man (aka wearing dress clothes) last year. Pics to come, along with an update on my scan. I normally don’t ask, but I could really use some prayers/positive vibes. I’m really scared of relapsing, and no amount of drugs can make that fear go away.
Additionally, A very close friend of mine recently suffered the loss of her child. October is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month, so if you could just keep my dear friend in your thoughts, along with all of the others who have unfortunately suffered along with her, I would really appreciate it.
Finally, after reflecting upon this year, coming up on my one year of relapse date and scan, here are my words of “wisdom” for whatever it’s worth: If you have been thinking about doing something that you’ve always wanted to do, but keep saying to yourself that the timing isn’t right……The timing will never be right. The only time you have for sure, is right now. Don’t wait. Like Nike says, “Just do it.” Time just ticks away, and I would give anything for more of it.
Peace, love and toilet bubbles-