Scanxiety like Whoa.


Certainly an update was due! So my PET scan is scheduled for the end of July, and it’s quite honestly all that I can think about, which sucks. They call it scanxiety, and it is a real thing. So, I’m going to need all the meds….all the days!

My hands have been shaking a ton lately, which is SUPER annoying. You should see what it looks like after I paint my nails. Thankfully God invented nail polish remover. I haven’t been feeling great over the past few days-more tired than normal, and nausea off and on. I also have been extra itchy all over, which is totally scary. Itchy skin was the only symptom I had before my last relapse. My skin is extra dry from the chemo, so it could just be that. It’s hard to tell, which also brings on the anxiety! So much anxiety, and not enough days to panic in!

In other news, happy Father’s Day, to all you dad’s out there!! And a special welcome to all the babies who have born/adopted this month!!! So happy for my friends. Yay for babies!!! (which by the way turn out to be waaaay easier than having a puppy, because at least babies wear diapers when they’re young).

Also for those of you shying away from the baby boom, here’s some good birth control stories for you: Yesterday Mack (who still needs a nap, but refuses a nap), SCREAMED and cried for OVER AN HOUR, because I wouldn’t let him bash his fist into the ipad when he was losing at a game. Then he also SCREAMED at the top of his lungs when I put him in the corner for throwing a ball directly into Sadie’s Face. Also, he lost his GD mind in Target because we didn’t buy him a toy. Oh ya, and last week he sat at the table and cried for over an hour because we wanted him to eat 4 green beans. FOUR! *sigh*. BUT…..every day he reminds me that he doesn’t want me to go to the hospital anymore, but if I do, he will visit me everyday. And at night when I tuck him in, and tell him that I love him, he says “Don’t worry mommy. I know you’ll always be with me, just in case.” And so, as usual, the good always outweighs the bad.

My goal for this week is to get my lazy ass on the elliptical. No excuses.

PS…Hopefully its not ominous in any way, but as I was typing this just now, a bird flew into our front picture window, and it now laying on the ground….dead. Shit. that’s rough.

7 thoughts on “Scanxiety like Whoa.

  1. God invented nail polish remover? Who knew? 😐 Hang in and know that so many continue to send positive energy and endless good wishes. You are loved by strangers. How cool is that? Rochelle

  2. itchy skin could be mild GVH.. Which is ok.. You are your donor cells!!! And that bird was just an idiot. You probably had such clean windows. You’re scan will be great. I know it! I’m just like marky mark and sending Good vibrations!!! (That’s what your hands are doing! Collecting all good vibrations!)

  3. OMG. Dead bird. 😂 The Target tantrums are the worst but jeez those kiddos are cute at bedtime. Hang in Mary. Good news coming your way! 😘

  4. I’m glad to hear from you. Mack is a typical boy, reminds me of my two at his age. I will say extra prayers for your scan. I have my 4 month check up on the 16th anxiety is running high. We both will receive good news I just know it. Take one day at a time and do whatever you feel like doing. Don’t push yourself. You have the rest of your life to do whatever…….like 90 + years ahead of you. And Mack will eventually grow out of the tantrums maybe in his 30’s lol. I have a 34 year old still having tantrums.I believe it is a male thing. Sending good thoughts your way. xx

  5. Wow. Karma’s a bitch isn’t it? How about when YOU were a toddler and screaming so loud the people across the street called to ask if everything was all right? And it was winter. And all the windows were closed. Or the time you decided to climb the 40-foot pine tree with roller skates because it was easier to hook on the branches? Or how about when you got in a big box and threw yourself off the porch to see what it felt like to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel – and broke your arm – and we had no insurance? And, one of my personal favorites – the third time I had to call the poison control center because you just loved to put everything in your mouth, and the person on the line said, “Oh, it’s you again. What did she eat this time?” Yep, what goes around comes around Mary. You got a child as just lovable, entertaining and wonderful as you were! Love you! – Mom

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