It is officially official now. In two weeks, April 30th, I will be beginning my inpatient stay at Seidman for my donor transplant. I’ll start with some shitty ass chemo to “cleanse” me, with transplant on May 6th. (This of course is following 2 weeks of a strict no alcohol, raw foods/juice diet because my pancreas is still being weird, and I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to be drinking alcohol this whole time…). Woopsie.
I met with my new transplant doc the other day. Love him. He’s from Brazil, and is super spicy. Smiles a lot. Laughs a lot. hopelessly optimistic. My kind of guy. I asked him what we were shooting for here, in terms of prognosis–10 years if successful? His response was stellar: “10 years? I was going for like 95+”. I’ll take it! We are all pretty damn sick of bad news around here, so I’ll hang my hat on any positivity that we receive.
Next week, I’ll be buzzing my head for the 4th time. It was going to be a “booze and buzz” party, but for me it will be a “juice and buzz” party. Not really the same effect, but whatevs. I’m just kind of like merp. Hair. Who even cares anymore. Not to mention, this will be the first time that I’ll be totally bald in the summertime, which honestly I feel pretty lucky about! Granted I’ll have to wear a hat so as not to intensely burn my dome, but I won’t have to shave my legs, pitts, or bikini line for months! Totes Jel? You should be. So many perks!!
Speaking of perks–I have been trying to get as much friend and family time in as I can before I’ll be really sick for a while. One of those times included dinner with my girlfriends at downtown 140 in Hudson. This is the same place where we dined a year ago, just prior to transplant. We even had the same waitress, who is awesome by the way. Anyway, if any of you have ever been to this establishment, you’d know that it is very small, and on the weekends when it is packed for dinner, very loud. Additionally, the seating is such that you share one long couch with numerous diners, and the spacing of the tables is pretty close. Now remember here people, I still have some tinnitus and a bit of hearing loss from my last chemo……Anywho—My friends and I were laughing, telling stories, having a good time–the usual–when suddenly this lady comes up to our table (she and her husband were sitting directly next to us), and says that I personally ruined her ENTIRE dining experience because I was laughing too loudly, and my laugh was too “shrill” for her liking. Now listen. I’m not trying to ruin anyone’s good time with my positive energy and general overall sassiness, but perhaps you should have chosen to stay at home maybe, if you wanted peace and quiet?? There were certainly tables near us much louder than we were, after all. Not to mention, were we not paying customers as well?! My response though was an apology, along with informing her that I have cancer and can’t hear very well out of my right ear, so when I am in a noisy place, I don’t realize whether or not I’m talking loudly….She didn’t seem to care. She just wanted to tell us, as she was leaving, (so as to ruin OUR dining experience), that we (well me more than anyone else), suck. There are a million and one things I should have said at the time, but I was pretty caught off guard. Meanwhile the lovely gentlemen next to us (also with a loud and lively bunch), bought us all a round of drinks, after witnessing this bitch try to ruin my chi. So here is just a little PSA: Before you decide to tell a table of 30 somethings to tone down their laughter, make sure that one of them doesn’t have cancer, one of them doesn’t have a murdered family member, and one of them doesn’t have the stress of adoption. Because here’s a little secret. WE. DONT. GIVE. A. FUCK. Next time, order in, ya floozy.
We took a family trip with some friends to a Hibachi restaurant-which was a first for the Buells. Lots of fun! See enclosed pictures! Also, my amazing fake cousins gave me a wonderful gift, which included the equally amazing, inappropriate, hilarious card shown below. Gotta love that dry, sarcastic humor. That’s my bag, baby. That gift was on fleek!
I was finally able to go into the office yesterday, and was so happy to see my coworkers. They threw a little pizza party for me, and it was great. I love you guys 🙂 My employer is super accommodating to my situation, and I feel so lucky. There are many people I’ve met over the past 3 years who have had to quit their jobs due to lengthy treatment, and luckily I have still been able to work as much and as often as I am able to. See ya’ll in about 6 months, when I’m totes cancer free!!
In other news, I have been trying to prep Mack for my long hospital stay, but this is like old hat for him. We had his “special day” at school today, which is one of the last times I will likely be there to see him at school–(I will also miss his Pre-K graduation). The Chesterland Community PreK staff and families have been such a blessing to our family, and I’m so glad that Mack loved his first year of school. Being there has really helped him open up about how he is feeling, which is something we really need him to do right now. He told me that he would cut out “a bunch of hearts” for my hospital room, and said that he would come to visit me, “as long as there wasn’t a new ‘Blaze and the Monster Machines’ on TV”. Gee thanks, Pal!! 🙂
I’m really anxious to get this transplant started. I know its going to suck, and I’m going to feel like shit, but I’m ready. To say I wasn’t nervous would be a total lie, but I’ve really trained my brain to only think about how I’m feeling TODAY, and not to think about what MIGHT happen a week, a month, or a year from now. It’s way too much stress–too many variables–too many what ifs. And you know what? Aint nobody got time for that nonsense. I. am. going. to. beat. this. Odds against me, or not.
…Because I’m not going to die today, and things could always be worse.
❤ God Bless my donor, whoever you are. I know you are a young, healthy male of German heritage, and I know that you are a completely selfless human being who deserves nothing but good things in your future. Even if this doesn’t work, you’ve saved my life, because you’ve given me something that I haven’t had for a long time….HOPE.