In some pretty big and exciting news as of late, my pic line was removed from my arm at my appointment yesterday! It’s the first time since 12/24/12, that I haven’t had some sort of port or line in me (considering I relapsed the day after my first port was removed). Since the beginning of February however, I have not had a real shower because I have had some sort of external tubes sticking out of my body.
Showering has seriously been such a production because I can’t actually stand under the shower. I’ve had to tape up my tubes, take the shower head off, and basically shower in parts while freezing my ass off. So fucking annoying. But yesterday, I took my first real shower in months, and it felt amazing!! You don’t realize how appreciative you are of things like showering until you can’t do it any longer.
I’m finally off the steroids for the first time since my transplant on 3/13. I’m so glad, but I’m going through withdrawal symptoms-my hands and arms are very weak and shake a lot, and I’m super duper tired. I’ve still managed to get on the elliptical a few times this week, which the docs are happy with, but it’s really slow going. My counts yesterday were really great, and they’ve cut my twice weekly appointments down to once per week. I’m feeling pretty optimistic that this transplant actually worked, but I don’t want to jinx myself. When I think about my next PET scan in 3 months, I start to panic. Ugghhh. That next PET will tell me two things: 1) whether or not I have to have radiation to my chest and 2) whether or not I still have cancer. Kind of a big deal all around!
So other than my old lady shaking hands, extreme fatigue, and tinnitus, my memory sucks ass, which is definitely going to make starting work next week a little harder than normal. The docs tell me it should come back, and that “exercising my mind” by going back to work will help, but let me tell you how frustrating it is to have a faulty short term memory. I’m sure it’s much more frustrating to derek who repeats the same things over and over. I have post it notes everywhere. But then Sometimes I can’t remember where I posted my post it note …actually that part makes me laugh, because come on. That’s funny.
Still no sign of my eyebrows or lashes. Hopefully those come back soon, because then I’ll for sure be well on my way to feeling like a normal human being! Until then, I’m still looking extra cancery. But since my counts are up, my pic is out, it sounds like a good time to go out and celebrate some time soon with all my kick ass nurses and docs! So get ready ladies and gents. You’re about to see fun mary. Stay tuned!
thank you all for your continued prayers. This whole experience has really changed my life. Although one day I hope to turn to derek and say, “hey, remember that time I had cancer? That sucked, huh?”…and just let it be a distant memory…It will always be a part of me because I have REALLY learned to appreciate life, and not to sweat the small stuff. I will never use my cancer to define who I am. But I will allow it to continue to change my outlook on life in a positive way.
Peace, love and warm long showers-