It has certainly been a minute since my last post, but I have a valid excuse, I swear! My last round of chemo completely sucked. I had my perma-cath placed in my chest (which hurts by the way), and did not tolerate this last round very well. I was pretty sick. This past Monday, I started my intense nupegon shots–3 of them daily. At first, it didn’t really feel that different, so I didn’t think it would be that bad, but then the pain sunk in. Here’s kind of what its like: When you are feeling lazy and out of shape, but go on Pinterest, see Insanity, and decide, I’m just going to start off big, order Insanity, and in 2 months, be hot? And then you do this super intense workout, and you’re so sore that you never work out again?? That’s what it feels like from these shots. My muscles are incredibly sore and weak, and at night, I can’t sleep at all because my bones feel really brittle and hurt a ton. Partially it’s my fault though because I HATE taking pain medicine because a) I don’t like the feeling and TMI.. b) it makes me constipated, which clearly has been a problem for me.
Yesterday, they started the mobilization process, or the blood tests to check my stem cell counts and start harvesting. We had to drive the hour to Seidman at 8 am, and waited nearly 4 hours just to get the results. –Apparently the results took a bit longer for me because, due to my lack of spleen, the “counting of good stem cells” process is a bit screwy. (They don’t see a lot of blood cancer patients for transplant who don’t have a spleen). Either way, in the process, we found out I needed a blood transfusion–(which totally explains why I’ve felt like a complete anemic vampire bitch lately, with awful gray colored skin, dizzy, weak, etc. etc. Basically I looked like Kristen Stewart.)–which required 2 bags of blood (thank you donors!!), and another 3 hours. It was a long day for sure. But at least this morning, I’m definitely feeling better, and can stand up without feeling like I’m going to pass out. We go back in again tomorrow morning, and they are hopeful that I will be ready to start harvesting.
Mack is totally understanding us going to the doctor now. He “fweaks out”, I think because he doesn’t know if we are coming back, or staying the night. He has started to say things like “Please don’t go to the doctor, because I love you!”–which completely breaks my heart. I think it’s worse for Derek, because usually I’m already in the hospital, so when he leaves to come stay with me some nights, Mack really loses his shit. I will say however, that he is totally a good manipulator too, because sometimes, all of his sadness is cured with a sucker or marshmallows. But regardless, my month-long stint in the hospital for the transplant is going to suck, but ultimately I hope that he doesn’t remember any of this. I just have to keep remembering that part.
I wanted to shout out to my sweet docs, espesh Dr. Fun, as I call him, who brought me Starbucks Chai tea with soy milk daily while I was in the hospital, and obvie Dr. C., who always comes to visit, even when she doesn’t have to. (And you’re welcome to the both of you, for showing you how to illegally download Frozen so your kids can be entertained). And also to Dr. Harry Potter because you’re great. And you look like Harry Potter. Great combo.
Additionally, I really wanted to thank the Euclid PD FOP, and everyone who has continued to thoughtfully send cards, words of encouragement, et al. It really means so much to us, and restores some positive vibes in our house when things start to bring us down! Also shout out to my fake fam again, who still come every monday night for dinner/support/laughs (sans becks…who I know would totes be there normally!), even though the Bachelor totally sucks this season, and I fall asleep every time. love yous. 🙂
In closing, I just wanted to publically wish my husband a very happy Valentine’s Day, as for the second year in a row, you will not be getting any, and will be spending it in the hospital. Ahhh….nothing says romance quite like a stem cell harvest!!