I seriously can’t believe it’s fall already. Well not technical fall, but you know, the time of the year where school starts, football is on TV, pumpkin spice lattes are served at Starbucks, and Bath and Body works has all of their fall scents out. It’s really hard to believe that this time last year, I conceived our second baby. Obviously I didn’t know I was pregnant then, but I really can’t believe it has been a year.
Once we found out at the end of October, I had these calendars printed up. They had pictures of Mack on each month, but in the picture for the month of our expected due date, the words “I’m going to be a big brother” were added in bold. I wrapped them up as soon as they arrived, and we were planning on having our families open them on Xmas eve/Xmas when we saw them, as a surprise. Obviously that plan never happened, but I had been too sad to talk about the details surrounding that whole experience until recently. But now that the season of fall decorations around the house is upon us, I can’t help but think about this, and to feel so thankful that it happened, and happy to be alive. 🙂
I had a pretty stressful week last week–what with medical debt collectors calling me at 8am, and pulling tape worms out of my dog’s ass…Oh ya, and potty training….that my random trip to Chicago was great. My cousin lives there, and I kind of just invited myself along with the other girls who were planning on going. It was just what I needed–to get away for a day or two. We ended up getting tattoos (small ones) which was a bit of an impulsive thing, but I figured that I might as well get all inked up before my oncologist sees me next and says I’m not allowed 🙂 She. is. going. to. freak. I’m sure of it, but it will be fun to see her face. My fake cousins and I (at least the ones who were there), ended up getting the fortissimo symbol tattooed. Not only does it say “ff”, but it also stands for “extra loud”, musically, which is perfect, really. I’m def extra loud. In addition to that, the other day, Derek’s family friend gifted me a really pretty piece shown in the picture above. It looks bigger in the picture than it is in real life, and it located on my right wrist–the same place where Derek’s tattoo for me is located on his arm. Say what you will about tattoos, but this one has special meaning. This experience has really changed my life in more ways than one. Although I’m not going to ever let it define me, it will always continue to shape me; a permanent reminder to appreciate that I’ve been given a second chance.
TMI alert…..in other news, I got my period again. Normally I would be annoyed with this, but like I posted last month, it makes me feel so normal! And if I really make a terrific turn around, the possibility that I could MAYBE have kids one day still gets me a little excited. I’m feeling great these days, and am trying my best to eat right and exercise as often as possible. My hair is growing out of control, and I’m kind of starting to get a baby mullet in the back, so I asked my sister-in-law to give it a trim next week, so at least it will be even! And in other news….I’m totally that mom…..my kid totally wears underpants now. Like all the time (except nap time and at night). I’m happy about it, but kind of sad that I may not get to wipe a little baby ass ever again (at least not my own).
My sister has had 2 treatments of rituxan so far, and is tolerating it just fine. She has some side effects from the pre medications she has to take (Tylenol 3 and Benadryl) but otherwise, she’s doing great. She has 4 more treatments left before they will reassess her. Keeping our fingers crossed for a positive outcome, as always.
In October, we have a mother-daughter wine trip planned, along with a vacation for Derek and I. I seriously can’t wait. Although I can’t stand leaving Mack and being without him, the idea of actually having some alone time with my husband, and making some memories with him, excites me to no end! Its going to be a blast. 🙂
Unfortunately my prayer list is getting longer, to now include my cousin Mark’s new wife, Willow–She was recently diagnosed with thyroid cancer, and subsequently had her thyroid removed. So please keep her in your prayers, along with the “usual suspects”: Jeanne, Kris, Ashley, Nick and Marty.
Until next time! 51 days until my next PET scan! Remission? Sure as eff hope so.